How was your First Love? Is it good? Or bad? Or you haven’t experienced it at all? It’s okay, they’ll come sooner or later. Speaking of which, let me tell you a story about the bravest man who ever lived, my first love. Why did I call him so? Here’s the story.
I met him in Seventh Grade, back in Junior High School. When someone tells you to not fall in love with your classmates, you should listen to them. He was mesmerizing, at least for me. He’s the joke that everyone would laugh at, He’s also the trouble that everyone would avoid. But somehow I find myself wrapped around his finger.
I Loved him in silence, the silence became my friends since that day. I sit and watch him, I watch his every move, scandal, and habit. We barely talk much because we’re different. He’s with his wild life while I can just imagine it. We’re completely different. He’s so wild, my wild boy who’s bringing wild joy.
He’s so carefree, wild, and brave. It’s like he had nine lives, he’s making life look so much easier, and I never met that kind of person in my life. He’s an artist, but now, he’ll be eternal in my writing, and become my art. He also plays guitar, he often sings too, he has a good voice.
A wild and brave boy who’s into arts and music. Oh my, what a dream boyfriend a girl could ask. One day, I was alone with my best friend, singing in an empty class and suddenly he came with his guys. That day, we sang together, I still can feel the butterfly in my stomach because of that, even now. After we sang a few songs, I’m about to go, but he’s holding me. He wants to talk to me, privately, just the two of us.
But I said no, why? I’m scared if he knows that I love him. I’m not ready for that. Now, guess what? I regret it. Until now I’m still wondering what he wanted to say to me that day, and what if I said yes? Would things be different now? I guess so. But, we never know and that will forever remain unknown, for me.
Time goes by, I barely had interaction with him since that day, he also already had a girlfriend. So I distance myself with him, carrying my love burden alone. Even though I barely talk with him, I can’t help admiring him more.
He’s so brave, I don’t know how many times i said it, but he is. He’s a trouble in the Teacher’s eyes, he made a lot of scandal. whether it’s skipping class, fight, or just as silly as vandalism. No, he’s never been a bully to others, he’s just wild, not evil. Maybe that’s one of the reasons why i fell for him so hard.
A year passed by, and I already moved on from him, but I feel like there’s something in my heart that needs to be told. So, I confessed my feelings for him, I told him that I liked him since the day one. He’s reaction was so priceless, I can still picture it clearly in my mind, he wants to meet me right after I confessed. It was midnight, and I couldn’t go out at midnight like that, so I said no, I rejected him, again. I mean, I am already moving on, so why should i meet him again?
Since that day he keeps on texting me, not everyday, but quite often. days turn into weeks and weeks turns into months, a few many months later, when I am already in Senior High School, he texted me.
He wants to meet me, he wants to drive me home, he wants… so many things. The thing that makes me impressed is, he said it clearly. Without any riddles or whatever, he just says what he wants, and he knows what he wants. But, I keep on rejecting, again and again. If you ask why, I was just afraid that day, afraid of his bravery. I never saw someone so brave about what they wanted before.
That offer came to an end, he stopped asking me for any offer he could offer, I understand. So many things are left unsaid between us, that’s what i regret the most. If I can redo it, i’ll face him, again and again. I’ll not leave things unspoken, I want everything to be clear. So i’ll not wonder about it in my old days.
If I meet him again somewhere, someday, I hope I can finally say “Yes.” to whatever he’ll offer.
With the last braveRy I have, FS.
